Stream of Consciousness
The world of adults, I once believed was filled only with love and peace .Hatred , envy , jealousy had no place there. At least ,that was what I thought as a child. Ironic, isin’t it? Looking back now, its clear children are the most innocent beings of all.
We are bound by emotions, like anger , sadness , jealousy , happiness, anxiety , disgust and ego . some of them like empathy, kindness , compassion and happiness are celebrated while some others like anger, envy and jealousy are shunned .Society praises one half and condemns the other . Yet aren’t both sides equally human ?
There is a paradox here. Crying is called weakness , anger makes us monsters , jealousy makes us vile. But is crying truly weakness ? Does anger always makes us beast ? Are jealousy and envy truly disgusting , or are they reminders of our longing , our hunger for something more ?
How long can a man smile ? How long can he remain kind ? Can any man live without making mistake,never flattering , always angelic? Have you ever met such a man ? Are you one yourself ? If so , I dare say you are a narcissist , or perhaps it is me , drowning in envy , for you hold what I have craved so desperately .
And then there is Lust , that double edged blade – a blessing and a curse . It blooms like lilies between lovers yet blinds us drags us down into animal desire . Strange isin’t it , how beauty and destruction share the same root ?
Is there truly such a thing as a “good man ” ? Can a person be “ wholly good” or “ wholly evil ” ? Is it fair to label someone “ bad ” simply for feeling jealousy , envy , or rage ?
We are made of Yin and Yang , both the light and shadow. We stumble , we make mistakes and we learn and sometimes don’t . It is not perfection that makes us human , but the striving , the balance we hold between our warring halves . I strongly believe no one is born a villain , it is society that twist people into that role . And we knowingly or not , often contribute to it .
How dare I judge another ? I too , am a sinner . And isin’t there a hypocrisy in believing oneself innocent – even as we gossip , even as we listen to the downfall of another ? How dare I judge another ? For I myself dared to call someone a narcissist above . How dare I judge when I have chosen silence at times when my voice should have been heard ? My silence became consent , my stillness became complicity .
I dare say me - Me ,Myself and I , am the greatest sinner of all for I can’t even accept my own hypocrisy.
In the end where does it all lead ? Does a completely good or bad person exist ?
No we are two sides of the same coin – for the better when balanced , for the worse when imbalance takes hold .All of us are flawed , all of us are searching . In the end what defines us is not perfection , but the battle we wage for balance .
And so , do I dare judge another ? No , for I too , am still searching for balance – clinging to it , praying it does not slip from my grasp .
At 17, I would say what I wrote now , is a stream of consciousness , which is beautiful and messy in its own way .
Post By Leona Biju . XII Humanities (2025-26 Batch)